Wednesday, September 7, 2011

When You Care Enough to Tour the Very Best

This past Labor Day, I took a break from my laboring to visit Kansas City, MO and some Grade A friends and creative persons, Monica and Josh. Monica has been experiencing city dangers with me since we were roommates in Boston; her hyper-talented husband Josh currently illustrates for Hallmark. 

When Monica mentioned that Josh could give us a tour of said Gold Crown company, I was looking forward to it, but sort of imagined it'd be a tour along the lines of what I'd provide at my own office... Here's my cube. There's our overstuffed office fridge. Take a free candy from the communal bowl. Head to the elevators.

Oh MY was I wrong. In fact, Hallmark HQ is a designer's paradise. Come along with me on a tour of this magical place.

I'm going to rebuild Kansas City using only
my manly, manly arms.
11:00 A.M. Monica and I kicked off our own tour at the official Hallmark Visitors Center. Highlights included a collection of company Christmas trees, an automatic bow machine, and a free recordable storybook upon exit (just the beginning of my swag-fest). I think my favorite bit was the original Norman Rockwell portrait of Mr. Hall in 1951, rolling up his sleeves to help KC after a devastating flood. Umm, Mr. Hall was a fox! And I'm sure he'd hate that I sexualized Hallmark.


11:30 A.M. All that manliness makes a girl hungry. Thankfully, Josh collected us at this point and escorted us through a delightfully swank, late '60s-style lobby to an even more Mad Men-esque company dining room. Despite the vintage wood-paneling and chandelier fixtures, Hallmark's cafeteria serves up a thoroughly modern, healthy smorgasbord. Here you can make your sandwich next to famous Keepsake ornament designers. I'll admit that I am far from an ornament aficionado, but Josh assured me that there are cliques of people in this world that would have put a Spork in my back to be in that cafeteria line. I think I might be a little afraid to meet them.

I give this dining room six out of six crowns.
Noon Sufficiently fortified, the three of us moved along to the design floors, where cards, decorative items, and millions of other Hallmark items are created daily. We walked by the workspace of the oft-profiled Mary Hamilton of Mary's Bears, who's worked there since 1955 and still hand-paints her cards. All company designers can print their work to a copy room comparable to a ginormous Kinko's with scanning and reproduction capabilities. But oh dear, just past this pseudo-Kinko's is THE BEST SUPPLY CLOSET EVER. Designers, imagine a Dick Blick store married a Jo-Ann store. Rows of decorative accents, inks, paper samples, paints, brushes, "flitter" in every color (Hallmark jargon for glitter) filled this room. Basically anything a designer might need to mock up a card or collector's item can be found here. On the off chance a designer is stuck in the concepting process, they can proceed from the awesome supply closet to the full library, consisting solely of design inspiration books and magazines. Ugg, I want to live in there!

An excellent place from which to steal supplies.
As we were going up stairs and down elevators surveying all the wonders, Josh pointed out the art along the hallways. Maybe at your office you have an un-ironic inspirational word print or in the case of my office bathroom, a bizarre illustration of an escalator succumbing to a flood. At Hallmark you can gaze upon an original Matisse, Lichtenstein, Mucha, or a one-of-a-kind contemporary art installation. Of course.

12:45 P.M. By now my brain was officially drunk on the Hallmark Kool-Aid. It was then that Josh casually posed the question, "Would you like to see the discount surplus store?" Does Mr. Hall have forearms of steel?! As mentioned, I'm not the sort that gets too into collecting things. However, when faced with a 75% discount and a sign that says, "All surplus ornaments will be destroyed on Sept. 30th", well, come on orphan Santas, get into my cart. May I suggest, Hallmark, that "destroyed" be replaced? It's such a harsh, un-sunshiny word. How about they're "going to a nice farm family on Sept. 30th"?

How's this for an inspiration room?
1:15 P.M. Blissed out on next-to-free swag, we headed over to the Rice Center. Another friend and Hallmark designer, Lisa, joined us at this point of the tour. Along with Josh, she pointed out the Rice Center's modeling shops, where almost anything three dimensional (snow globes, ornaments, etc.) can be mocked up. If memory serves, there was also a section that mocked up letterpress work. Nice! Next to the model shops was a space where any employee can go to model in clay. AKA Pottery Play Room! Except like all things Hallmark, the finished work lining the walls was exceptional. Not the usual "I made you an ashtray" work at most public pottery shops.

After this, Monica and I said goodbye to our tour guides and headed back into the outside world. It was a let down after all that greatness. So, next time you are running through the drug store and quickly grab the first Hallmark birthday card you see, know that some designer in Kansas City spent hours of their time analyzing shades of flitter to decorate those cake candle flames. Please note: if you are running through Target, they only carry American Greetings (evil nemesis) cards and you should just forget it.

In the mood for more art? You should check out Josh and Monica's work!

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