Coming soon to TLC: Irish Dance Wars and/or Moms

Dance the night away, live your life and
stay young on the floor.

You read it here first; the next 'great' reality TV series from TLC or Lifetime will be a reality show about Irish step dance competitions. Possible titles: My Big Fat Irish Dance Off or Next Top Step Dancer or Step Up 4: Gettin' Jiggy With It (other suggestions go in the comments section).

In my last post I mentioned that I was recently in Kansas City, MO; coinciding with that fair city's Irish fest. Included in the lineup of events was a showing of a documentary called Jig, about girls and boys of all ages preparing to compete in the 40th Irish Dancing World Championships in Glasgow, Scotland. [This reviewer says, two thumbs up!]

Wow, guys. The TV episodes would write themselves. Step dancing has all the right elements: crazy wigs & dresses, intense stage moms, barely suppressed rivalries, abrasive choreographers, and some really charming accents. On top of that, it looks like a highly difficult activity. Ratings gold.

Jig follows the stories of a variety of kids from a variety of backgrounds, but for my purposes I'll stick with the main rivalry: two ten-year-old girls, one from Northern Ireland and the other from New Jersey. Through their young eyes we learn several things:

1) A competition is properly called a feis (pronounced like "fresh" without the "r").
2) If you want to look your best, you've got to be tricked out in very expensive curly wigs and custom dresses.
3) If you're good you'll dance a first round in hard shoes, a second in soft, and a solo showcase piece again in hard shoes.
4) In the first two rounds you and another dancer compete at the same time on the same stage, each doing different dances. Remember this one for later.
5) Your family will spend all of its money (ALL of it) on your dancing expenses.
6) Irish, redheaded kids are sassy and fun. American kids act like the spoiled, entitled brats we are.

Lucky me, I was able to see a feis firsthand...

Adorable moppets ready to step it up.

The very next day, the Kansas City feis kicked off (pun!) at a nearby hotel conference center and my trusty hostess Monica steered me through the chaos. As a survivor of many ballet recitals in my youth, some of the conference center carnage looked familiar. Hundreds of giggly girls running down the halls; makeup and costume parts strewn across every available floor space; frazzled moms and slightly put-upon dads carrying duffel bags of dance equipment.

In addition to being far more patient with crowds, Monica also participated in step dance competitions as a girl, so she was the go-to explainer for some of the new and puzzling bits of the day. Number one being that rule about two dancers squaring off at once in early competition rounds. 

So...this is the part where step dancing is like NASCAR. To an untrained eye, it all looks the same for the majority of the time, stepping, leaping, stepping, until WHOA THE CAR CRASHED INTO THE BOARDS! Having two people dance two different dances at once on stage is just asking for trouble. Even the best of the best in the movie had a jig crash...so you can imagine how the more middle-of-the-road dancers in Kansas City suffered. Watching young, eager dancers collide in their big moments is cringe-worthy, but I can totally see how this would be a good tension-building element in the TV series. Monica assured me that it's within the rules to take a step away from the other dancer to avoid crashing and continue your routine; however, I'm betting some savvy producer would overlook this.

Glitter ain't cheap.

In all, the feis was a reel good time (more puns!). It opened my eyes to the underlying intensity of a dance form that, previously, I'd only had minimal exposure to at Irish festivals and Riverdance. It also gave me an idea for a rad future Halloween costume. That is, until I got a load of the prices on the used dresses for sale. NM. Plus, as Monica pointed out, people would be yelling, "Do a jig!" all night and that would probably get old fast.