Old Movie, New Review: 2012 (Get Your Rapture On).

Actually, I wasn't warned.

If you've dropped by this blog before, you know my affinity for end of days movies. And you know that I have my survival plan in place for the Apocalypse. Right now, I'm feeling pret-ty smug about thinking ahead, because apparently The Rapture is coming TOMORROW. Yikes!

With my blueprint set, I've had time to get into the spirit of things and catch up on my disaster flicks. After lingering in my Netflix queue for, hmmm, about a year, 2012 finally had its day. Watching it probably was the best way to convince me of the impending Rapture, because for the first time ever I fast-fowarded through an Apocalypse movie. OK, and this film had L.A. actually tilt Titanic-style and slide into the Pacific, so where did it go so hilariously wrong? Let's break it down!

So You've Survived the End of Days

"Nothing bad could come of this!... D'oh!"

Wow, human society can collapse pretty quickly, huh? Like in a week! A friend of mine convinced me to watch AMC's new hit, The Walking Dead, a story set in the Atlanta metro area...in the Zombie Apocalypse (whoops!). I'm addicted. If riding a horse into a concrete jungle only to have your trusty steed eaten from under you by a zombie mob isn't a city danger, I don't know what is.

New obsession aside, zombie flicks have never been my thing. I'm pretty ignorant of undead lore. However, The Walking Dead is also an 'end of times' tale and, MAN, do I heart a good end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it story. Actually, it doesn't even have to be good. Independence Day, Children of Men, War of the Worlds, The Matrix, District 9...and the granddaddy, The Day After Tomorrow. All tremendously entertaining.

Sure, we could probably draw deeper lessons on human nature from the CGI terror of alien invasions, nation-destabilizing infertility, and global megastorms. But I couldn't care less about morality metaphors when I watch an Apocalypse movie. I watch for one reason: "How would my survival technique compare to these idiots'?"