A Year in Review: My Own Unnecessary List.

The blogosphere is simply bloated with "Top 10 Things!" or "Arbitrary Best of That" articles this time of year. This could be because humans are naturally attracted to lists (just me?). A more likely scenario is that post-Thanksgiving, bloggers start a slow, cookie-enhanced descent to laziness. Lists are way easier than writing something hard, like, with themes and metaphors.

The blogger description is highly questionable, but I am feeling lazy and have consumed an ungodly amount of bakery. Plus I promised myself I'd squeeze one last post into 2010. Let's hit it!

Push it harder!

City Life Shout Out of the Year: To the StreetWise paper salesman at Clark and Fullerton who routinely tells me to "PUSH IT HARDER!" when I pass by on my evening power walks. Sure, I'm about two minutes into the circuit, but it is never too soon to be reminded to maintain a steady pace. Thanks! Runner Up: To the coworker who diligently unloads my Tupperware from the dishwasher each morning while I saunter into work hours later. You are a true hero.

Best Transit Employee of the Year: "JC" at the CTA Diversey Brown Line stop. In a world where public transit officers are often unfriendly, "JC" is a rock star. Without fail he greets me with "Good morning!" (sometimes adding a wink, salute, or "Princess" for special days) and tells me if I need to sprint up the stairs to catch the train (every damn day).

Quirkiest Transit Employee of the Year: The conductor on the Purple Line evening express. Yes, this conductor delivers AT VOLUME 11 a lengthy reminder at each stop, including but not limited to: direction of train, current stop, next stop, where the doors will open, reminder to take your belongings, thanks for riding the CTA, and also doors are closing. However, she says this all with a totally rad Jamaican accent. Redemption. "Darhs arh closin'!"

Most Interesting, in a Good Way, City Danger: French airport strikes, while you're in line at a French airport. I experienced this firsthand in May. I could have been mad that the hundreds of us waiting at check in were probably going to miss our flights, but man did the strikers look so stylish! The French are (in)famous for their frequent strikes, but I can see one reason why they do it...they look fun! Such joie de vivre!
Runner Up: Zombies.

Most Interesting, in a Bad Way, City Danger: Muggings. Unlike French strikes, they are NOT fun... except sometimes funny things eventually happen because of them. You can also get some decent mileage at dinner parties with the story.


Randoms:

I'm eruptin' in your sky, messin' with your flight patterns.

Best Natural Disaster of 2010: Eyjafjallajokull eruptions in Iceland. Oooooo, controversial! If this was a blog that people actually read, I'm sure I'd get hate mail for suggesting that any disaster could be a 'best' because they are all devastating. Generally true. I find ALL extreme weather fascinating and usually that's fairly macabre. However, the eruptions were a rare case to indulge in the wrath of nature without guilt. No one died and loss of property was minimal. Instead the world got some pretty awesome volcano images and those not flying through Europe felt smug that it wasn't their continent's tectonic plates causing the problem. Even Iceland had to be pleased that at least it wasn't in the news for its bankrupt economy... or Björk.

Favorite New-to-Me Website: Hyperbole and Half. Blogger Ali Brosh "wants to be the champion of the internet" and she succeeds. You need to be reading about her mentally challenged dog and her harrowing childhood misadventures involving cake and the Nativity.

Two tickets to that thing you love... look again, now they're diamonds!

Most Watched-by-Me Viral Video: TIE! The Man Your Man Could Smell Like and Antoine Dodson Remix, duh.
Runners Up: 1. Whip My Hair by Jimmy Fallon as Neil Young 2. Icelandic Soccer Goal "Fishing" Celebration.

Most Important Album of 2010 Ever: Lady Gaga's Fame Monster. Don't blow a gasket, I know it came out in late 2009. Whatevs. Fame Monster served as both office team builder AND provoked numerous post-bar debates over the "Telephone" video (Did Beyonce sell out? What the heck is happening here?)... and thus has essentially affected the majority of my waking hours this year. Including right now.

Best Book in the World: Anything written by 'Cara McKenna' a friend and former graphic design coworker turned Harlequin romance novelist. Shameless plug! Buy her books and help her meet her weekly budget for red wine and baking materials.  

Most Groundbreaking TV Show: Jersey Shore. Forging new frontiers in classlessness, tackiness, vulgarity, amazingness and tanning.

Best Dance Trend: Dancing the polka with your mother at a Cleveland wedding. Polish equivalent of, "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..." Except opposite.

Earwormiest Song of 2010: "Club Can't Handle Me" by Flo Rida. Kidding, of course it's anything by Justin Bieber.

Oh, HI, Mark!

Movie of the Year: The Room. You have not lived until you've been pelted with footballs and plastic spoons at a midnight screening of "the worst movie in the world." 2010 was my year of revelation and I can die happy. You're tearing me apart, Lisa!
Runner Up: Black Swan. It knows why. Or does it? You're tearing me apart, ballet role!



Wishes for 2011:
1. To be taller
2. To be a baller.
3. A rabbit in hat with a bat
4. A '64 Impala
5. Pake (pie baked into cake)