If a tree falls in the boreal forest, how much do I owe Greenpeace?

Save the world! Just $20!

Though I live in Chicago and dodge minor city dangers on a routine basis, my office is located in Evanston, a leafy urban-suburban hybrid just north of the city. It should be an oasis. In addition to two Whole Foods, a host of gourmet fro-yo shops, multiple sushi houses, and most essential services in an tastefully-designed downtown, this paragon of urban planning also houses an elite university. Powers combined, the place is bursting with yuppie guilt and eager students. 

And how is all that do-goodery enthusiasm to be channeled? Social petitioning of course! Initially, my own enthusiasm was right up there with the perky, clipboarded ones. Save the environment! Support women's rights! Well, I'm a woman AND I enjoy trees! Rock on.

The shine wore off the day I succumbed to Greenpeace. Anyone who has been hooked by the question "Don't you have a minute for [fill in cause here]?" knows that the subtext is, "Don't you have $20 [minimum] non-tax-deductible dollars a month to fund us?" If I stood on the corner and repeatedly asked for a Jackson a month to aid the greater good of my bank account, I am sure I would be run out of town by these very same people. (Don't email to lecture me on selfishness. I would never ask for $20. Smaller denominations are perfectly acceptable.)

Now in August, the summer sun and trickle of students back to campus has pushed the petitioning to an annual high. On any given lunch hour a two block walk to CVS can turn into a game of 'dodge the special interest'.

Unless direct confrontation or sarcastic retorts (impolite!) are your thing, avoiding the petitioners and their questions, "Can't you spare a minute to help human rights/animal rights/child abuse/homelessness/the whales, would seem to be the best way to opt out of the awkwardness and preserve your meager disposable income. But the activists are getting wily. And I've noticed the public responding with increasingly elaborate evasive maneuvers.

At first there was a simple work around:

In response, the petitioners shifted tactics, requiring quick reflexes and fleet feet for evasion:

I await the next phase of strategic placement. This is my rough projection: